Today Is Brought To You By...

(in real life.  Not to be confused with surrogates) 

She's the wire monkey from Harlow's experiment.  She chose your sister as the golden child because she feels overly guilty for her being deaf.  She expects you to kowtow to her every need, because she is the queen of everything, no matter what.  It is never her fault because lots of bad shit happened to her, which you will be reminded of every fucking chance she gets, as it furthermore gives her motivation to be more difficult.  She's the one who taught you about suicide at or before 5 years of age, when she would make you stand there and listen to her lectures for HOURS, for god can only guess, out of loneliness.  She had you on purpose, so you would take care of her while she's dying.... for 40 years.  She's the poster child for Borderline Personality Disorder.  When things are going tough for you, they don't matter, in fact, she and her feelings are the only things that matter.  If you said hi to her the wrong way, it's all your fault, because she's in tears, how dare you!  But if you take care of her while her husband is having an affair, she will conspire with him to kick you to the curb and make everything your fault, when he comes back.  The bottom line is that she is perfect, and you are the problem, always and forever, without question.

Has everyone by the balls, and is your Elohim on steroids.